You Are Undead. (Sign Here Please) (You Are Dead. Book 4) by Andrew Stanek

Author:Andrew Stanek [Stanek, Andrew]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Humor
Published: 2017-03-06T11:00:00+00:00

Chapter 15

For a few seconds, silence reigned in the office. There were no gunshots or shouting. Even Nathan had stopped whistling. Everyone just stared at the mayor’s body, which twitched once, then twice, then lay still.

The sound of a distant toilet flushing broke the silence. A stall door flung open, and Dr. Vegatillius rushed out towards the mayor.

“Everyone stand back,” he said. “I’m an art historian!”

He raced over to the mayor and placed his hands on the man’s bloodstained chest, feeling for a heartbeat.

“My God!” Vegatillius said. “I have this exact shirt!”

“I thought you were an atheist,” Brian objected.

“I told you I’m not very devout,” Vegatillius snapped. “The mayor is also dead. There’s nothing we can do for him.”

His aide hung her head in sorrow.

“He died as he lived,” she said. “Drunk.”

Nathan took the bag off of his head and pressed it over his heart in mourning, then started to whistle ‘Taps.’

The serial killer scratched his head.

“Well, sorry, archaeological beans. That’s never happened before. I must apologize most profusely, but we can’t let these little hiccups get in the way of the job.”

He leveled the pistol at Nathan again and started to fire.

“Run,” Brian said, and dragged Nathan out of the bathroom. They both broke into a run.

“Coward,” Travis muttered, but moved to follow them. As they went, Travis mused: “I surmise Ian must have sent the serial killer to find us here, knowing that the serial killer would kill the mayor and therefore thwart your plan to have the mayor ban zombieism in the city. That was very shrewd of him. I am surprised he failed to appear himself.”

Brian snorted.

“Ian didn’t get where he is today by doing work himself when he could get others to do it for him,” he said.

Behind them, the serial killer fired several more bullets at Nathan, most of which hit Nathan but failed to kill him. Nathan rubbed Zom-B-Gone into the wounds as they went, and most healed immediately.

“This is good stuff,” Nathan said. “It’s a shame the bottle says its not for use in the living.”

“That’s a real pity, because if I get hit, I’m probably going to die,” Brian said.

“Coward,” Travis charged again.

They fled the park, dodging past the telepathic ducks and campaign volunteers, then raced through a basketball court, onto a city street, and around a corner. The serial killer lagged behind them and fell out of sight. However, the street proved to be a dead end, as several large brick walls stubbornly blocked their escape route.

Travis, who was leading, ground to a halt in front of a store. It was a small, quaint, friendly shop with a homely feel to it. The sign hanging above the door read, “Killing Factor Gun Store - Firearms, Munitions, Bombs, And More.”

“Maybe we should duck in here,” Travis said. “If our immediate problem is we’re being chased by a serial killer, and we obtained weapons, we could fight him off.”

It was proof of the direness of the situation that Brian agreed with Travis.

“Okay,” Brian said.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.